A Catholic volunteer in Kansas City seems to have found the right balance between welcoming refugees to her community without becoming overly involved. She’s found a way to connect with the refugees via her heart and mind while realizing the goal is their autonomy. An article in the Kansas City Star tells her story:
When Bernadette Coulter responded to a note in her church’s bulletin about helping in a conversational English class for refugees, she had no idea what she was getting into.
That was six years ago. On Friday, Coulter was sitting with her husband and friends in a federal courtroom watching Mamur Karabaev, an Uzbekistan refugee she calls her “adopted” son, affirm his American citizenship during a naturalization ceremony.
Karabaev is the last of a dozen refugees who escaped Uzbekistan after a massacre and found their way eventually to Coulter. She calls them her “boys.”
“I never expected to be this involved,” the Shawnee woman said. “It has been very fun and exciting and rewarding, heartbreaking and frustrating.
“I would do it again in a heartbeat.”…
…Barbara Smith, a friend and member of Good Shepherd Catholic Church with Coulter, said she has watched the story unfold from the beginning…
…Friends of Coulter, a 63-year-old retired hairdresser and mother of three, speak of her humility and willingness to help others. Becoming involved in the refugees’ lives, that’s just something Coulter would do, Smith said.
“One person can make a difference and she did it,” Smith said.
But what Coulter did may not always work so well, one person warned.
David Holsclaw, director of English as a second language at the Don Bosco Center, said relationships such as the one between Coulter and Karabaev are the exception to typical stories he’s heard about volunteers who may be over-involved.
“There are some volunteers that go nuts and become way too involved and really become problematic,” Holsclaw said…
…Developing an emotional connection can be detrimental to the resettlement process, he said.
For her part, Coulter thinks being a volunteer helped her.
“I think I had an advantage not being constrained by rules or regulations,” she said. “I was able to jump in feet first.” Read more here


